29 Dec

Do you know what makes us Human?

Our weaknesses, our flaws, our talent to constantly find excuses for ourselves, our ability to procrastinate and our ability to make mistakes no matter how careful we are.

Oh ya! One more important thing that makes us Human. We tend to forget that our friends are Human.

If you asked me if I’ve had best friends in my life, my answer would be a flat ‘No’. Till right up to about a couple of hours ago, that answer would have been the same. Now, the answer would be ‘Yes’! I’ve got plenty.

The reason for answering ‘No’ in the past was because my definition of a best friend was different. My definition and I believe most of you as well, of a ‘Best Friend’ was:

You can only have one best friend. Best friends should hide nothing from each other and do everything together. You should have the same likes & dislikes. If your best friend makes a mistake, you’ll forgive him or her no matter what.

According to this definition, of course my answer would be a ‘No’, because this definition would mean my best friend could only have been myself.

My friends come and go. A probable reason for saying I didn’t have any best friends was probably an excuse to help myself cope with not being able to keep in touch with them.

Have you been in the situation where you’ve lost touch with them and one day feel it’s time to catch up but you procrastinate till the day you tell yourself: “You know what? If he was truly that important, I wouldn’t be procrastinating” or “Heck! Why should I be the one who has to organise a catch up session?”

Of course there are those bad breaks due to arguments and misunderstandings. Ask yourself this:

If you had made a grave mistake and disappointed yourself, would you forgive yourself? I would.

If your friend made a mistake and disappointed you, would you forgive that friend?

A mentor once told me:

It’s not that friends change, it’s that you don’t know them long enough

If this is true, I feel all the more we should forgive. If you didn’t know them long enough and now you know they are who they are, you’ve learnt something new about your friend. It won’t be fair to judge someone for who they are.

Two weeks into my new line of work and I realised that the power of appreciation works wonders. Therefore I’ve changed my definition of a best friend. With this change, the answer to the question changed as well. My definition of a best friend is:

  • Someone who has left an impression in your life regardless of the size.
  • Someone who has taught you to see things from a different perspective.
  • Someone who has taught you an important lesson.
  • Someone who has appreciated you for the smallest of things.
  • Someone who has made you laugh.
  • Someone who has made you cry.
  • Someone who has tested your patience.

This is all I can think of at the moment but with the coming end of the year, I would like to thank some people for:

  1. Teaching me the importance of aiming high, so that if I fall I won’t be too far away and telling me that if I do fall to the ground, they won’t be far away to give me a hand.

  3. Teaching me the importance of speaking proper english and not to fear public speaking as it’s one of the most important tools in the corporate world.

  5. Teaching me the importance of writing properly. Also, writing is much like going to the gym, the more you write the bigger your writing muscle gets.

  7. For challenging me to find another person exactly like me in this whole wide world. Teaching me that my uniqueness is my best weapon in this world.

  9. For teaching me that everything can be fun but fun cannot be everything.

  11. For giving me opportunities. Closing doors that I thought was important while opening doors to reveal what is truly important to me.

Friends may come & go but their marks left on you will be permanent. Experiences, good or bad teach you lessons and shape your perceptions as a person. Appreciate these lessons and never forget your friends no matter how far or close they may be. Bear in mind that it is Human to make mistakes, so learn to forgive and forget.



3 Responses to “Friends”

  1. Alphonso Pucciarelli January 10, 2011 at 5:30 am #

    Can I just say what a relief to find someone who at some point knows what they’re talking about on the internet. You absolutely know how to bring an issue to light and make it applicable. More people need to read this and understand this side of the story. I cant believe youre not more popular because you definitely have the gift.

  2. Chase January 4, 2011 at 11:38 am #

    Great post! I totally agree with your new theory of friendship. I have many best friends. I grew up on the move every three years, so limiting myself to only one would have been chaotic! I’ve enjoyed reading your posts. They remind me to write something new!

    • Baldwin Ng January 4, 2011 at 2:40 pm #

      Thanks man. Always great to hear from a fellow blogger! Cheers

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